S.D. Onyango 11/8/23 S.D. Onyango 11/8/23

Clocking Off: How I learnt not to take work home!

As a Black Woman, I am well aware of the double edged sword( Black & Woman) of having to work twice as hard as everyone else on top of having to constantly assess and reassess your work because if anything would go wrong, you would most likely be the first to be blamed. I am also acutely aware of the racial trauma we endure and the need to be constantly hyper-vigilante in all spaces we occupy, which just adds to our racial injury.

The COVID-19 global pandemic has forever changed how we work and the workplace culture that accompanies our jobs, so to speak. In the midst of a forced shutdown, companies and employers were forced to bring in changes that many have been asking for years that most employers have mostly paid lip service to! Working from home became “THE THING” and the era of employer led as opposed to employee led flexible working came into place. Gone was the so-called rat race and all over the world employees were reflecting on what life meant to them and what changes they wanted to make. I for one was here for all of it.

The world of clinical research is a fast paced one with specific timelines on collecting clinical data and reporting them. For example, more often than not, sponsors require data on SAEs to be reported to them within 24 hours of one being reported. As a clinical research nurse/study coordinator, participants had my work number and preferred to call me as opposed to the emergency number they were provided with at the start of the trials. It was great that i had such a close working relationship with our trial participants and that contributed to the smooth running of our trials but it also meant that i was almost always the first to learn about issues arising like an SAE!

That was how i found myself dealing with an SAE and the paperwork that followed, not to mention the numerous phone-calls to the sponsor on a Friday evening way after work, on my own unpaid time. Having a work phone and carrying it home with me, seemed like a great thing to do as a way of getting on top and planning my work but it also meant that it ate into my private home time and i could not really switch off. I literally carried work home with me everyday! No wonder i was constantly tired, feeling like i was being pulled from all sides, but, hey, wasn’t burnout a great marker that you were doing something right?

Fast forward to a new job and I am going through all the IT set-up and but this time I have no work phone, so I would not have to carry work home with me and I could maintain that work like balance that I so craved and had etched out but I am also a work in progress, because in the middle of setting up emails and teams, I found myself synchronising my phone to my work emails and teams! Luckily I caught myself just in time to remind myself that I was already doing enough, giving my 100% at work and that work stayed at work!

But we all know that it takes years to unlearn traits that have been part of ones identity formed from societal pressures and perceptions. So I have to fight the daily urge to be on top of everything and synchronise my phone to work emails and teams and remind myself that when I leave work, I make sure I leave ‘work’ behind!

How do you maintain your work life balance? Drop us a comment.

The Wandering Nurse!

S.D. Onyango 11/5/22 S.D. Onyango 11/5/22

"CALLING IN BLACK": Affirming my humanity as a Black Woman at work.

“If you are silent about your pain, they will kill you and say you enjoyed it” - Zora Neale Hurston.

“10”! A high or low number, depending on how you look at it or the circumstances. It was a number i was proud of, a badge of honour of sorts, a vision and reality of how “strong”, “resilient”, “efficient” and “dependable” i was. I mean i was a put -your -head -and -work- kind of person, just get on with it. What i didn’t realise was that, perfect number 10 was killing me, taking it’s toll on me and was in some ways, rooted in racism! You see, for 15 years working as a qualified nurse, i had only taken 10 sick off days! i had a near perfect sickness record, but my mind and body were falling apart!( I write about this in a previous blog post: https://www.ayiechoodembiconsultancy.com/about-healthcare/racism-in-health-a-patient-safety-issue-navigating-healthcare-while-black-part-2

“Calling - in - Black” to work was journalist and social media satirist,Evelyn Ngugi’s way of affirming her humanity to herself by staying home from work to deal with the feelings of grief and it’s emotional toll after being overwhelmed by traumatic events around violence and trauma fueled by racism faced by Black/ African American persons in the U.S.A, according to Byers et al who wrote about her work in their paper: -Giving while grieving: Racism-related stress and psychological resilience in Black/African American registered nurses. Their paper looked at race related stress in the healthcare system and how Racism-related stress can affect nurses’ engagement, performance and practice. It is a great read and worthwhile read

Byers et al are not alone in looking at how racism affects the mental health of Black Nurses, according to a study conducted by Nursing Outlook, cited by Portia Wofford in her post : - Black Nurses’ Mental Health Matters, Black nurses perceived that they had low psychological resilience in stressful situations and were affected by both lived and vicarious racism. Portia also includes this quote below in her post which resonated deeply with me about my previous and current experiences within my workplace and how i now choose to respond to them.

According to psychotherapist Megan Watson, "Microaggressions and macroaggressions in the workplace, that stem from patients, colleges, supervisors, management, and the institution itself might be rooted in racist ideology and can put a heavy burden on the work that you do and ultimately impacts your burnout."

How does all this relate to me and my sickness record? Well after years of enduring pain and illness, showing up to work regardless of how i was feeling, because taking time off sick was (and is still) frowned upon, more so for us Black Nurses in the NHS, COVID19 happened and finally there were conversations happening around workload, racism, mental health and burnout especially around and about Black healthcare workers. For the first time, it was laid bare the unfair and uneven system and bias with regards to all four and more that had been placed on Black healthcare workers and the toll it had taken. Conversations around and about change were happening. Organisations promised to do better, be better, but words without actions are just that, words!

Fast forward to 2022, and i am working at a new organisation, a global one at that, with branches worldwide and nothing has changed. The racist ‘Strong Black Woman’ myth is still firmly in place. The myth that as a Black Woman/Nurse, you can do it all, you can manage the heavy workload without help at all and you will be more than fine, since you are a Black Woman and a strong one at that! It is coated in fake accolades, that tell you how efficient you are, how capable you are, how you just ‘get on’ with it, while more work is piled on and you dig in, carry on, because, as a Black Woman, you know you have to do the work or else you and your work will be called into question. You carry the load even as it breaks your back and mind. Do not be fooled by the accolades, the false praises that are slowly sending you to your grave, eating at your soul. Do not be fooled, no one is coming to save you!

So while, nothing seems to have changed, I have. It’s business as usual on the ‘trample on Black folks/Women’ street. So i am glad that i learned from my past mistakes, my betrayal of self and body. I learnt not to be taken in by the accolades. To see the situation for what it was, exploitation, rooted in racist ideologies. I learnt to listen to my soul and body. So next time the myth of the ‘Strong Black Woman’ came calling, and tried to break my body and soul, I listened to my soul and body and I Called in Black! I mean what is a perfect score worth, if you are not around to enjoy it because your body is totally broken or you are 6 feet under? Like Zora Neale Hurston said: “ If you are silent about your pain, they will kill you and say you enjoyed it!”

Do not suffer in silence, there are steps you can take to safeguard yourself:

Talk to your manager about your work conditions and if your manger is the problem, find out who your HR person and what your workplace policy is around raising grievances and complaints and escalate the issue. Write a letter/email highlighting the issues you face and who you have raised it with and when and what was the outcome. That way there is a record and not just a word of mouth scenario. See also https://www.gov.uk/raise-grievance-at-work of how it should work and what to expect.
Ask about your organisations Occupational Health Policy. Occupational health can help establish a safe working environment for you by providing a range of services which could include recommendations around safe work loads and safe working spaces with correct equipment. You can read more at: https://www.acas.org.uk/using-occupational-health-at-work

Clocking Off: How I learnt not to take work home!

"CALLING IN BLACK": Affirming my humanity as a Black Woman at work.

“If you are silent about your pain, they will kill you and say you enjoyed it” - Zora Neale Hurston.

Further reading/resources: